Comedy Bottle Fridays & Saturdays at 7:30pm


See your favorite local headliners before they make it to the big time and stop returning your calls!  This showcase features the best stand-up veterans in town on stage at the newly opened Purple Onion at Kells.  Like the Phoenix, the Purple Onion and its legendary comedic prowess will forever regenerate and keep the laughs coming.  Show line-ups change every weekend. Every Friday and Saturday at 7pm. Tickets $18 online, $20 at the door (includes one drink token) .

past Comedy Bottle headliners include: Alex Koll, Kellen Erskine, Sammy Obeid, Ngaio Bealum, Reggie Steele, Sal Calanni, Kris Tinkle, Sean Keane, Brendan Lynch, Kurtis Matthews, Mark Lundholm, Kevin Camia, Natasha Muse, Nato Green, Ritch Shydner, Richard Sarvate, Kyle McFadden, Red Scott, and many more.


Read More

Cellar Dwellers (Wed & Thurs 8:15pm-10:00pm)


Meet the Cellar Dweller Comedians

The Cellar Dwellers uphold the tradition of quirky and offbeat San Francisco humor. Each ‘Dweller’ is a professional comic with a unique voice. Some have Southern accents, some have Indian accents… you get the joke. They each call The Purple Onion home, and a few even have their own apartments.

Two nights a week the Dwellers descend into the basement of Kells to test the brick and mortar foundation with uproarious laughter (some of which comes from the audience). Their chief weapon is stand up comedy. Stand up comedy and Monty Python references. Two chief weapons. Audiences stay on the edge of their sitting chairs. Hecklers are destroyed in ways that would nauseate a Roman emperor. Come witness their meteoric rise to comedy stardom…

One item minimu...

Read More

We are not closed! We never closed, we just moved around the corner from the old location.


The tradition lives. The Purple Onion continues to showcase established national acts while producing some of the finest Bay Area comedy talent. Take in a piece of history. Come laugh in the place next to the place where San Francisco comedy all got started: The Purple Onion at Kells, now with Guinness. (One item minimum for all shows)

Read More